Last week I received this email from a reader….

“I found your blog recently and absolutely love your girly inspirations. I’m glad there are sharers in the world, yay the WWW.

As an eighties teenager I was raised with no fashion sense at all, (in some ways that may be a lucky coincidence of fate) so I was wondering if i may ask, is everything in your wardrobe of matching fashion, is it all in your style on these pages? I wonder whether period fashionista’s have two fashion lives or its all the way?” – B

… to which I (of course) began penning a very long and involved reply.  Once I realised it was going to be a short essay I figured it would be something to share with you all, so here is my answer.

If I understand correctly what she is asking  is, is everything I own vintage style or do I have a “normal” wardrobe as well? I can’t answer for all other vintage enthusiasts, only myself.

To answer as best as I can, I am not a vintage purist. What I mean by that is that I will happily mix a 1950’s dress with modern shoes or a 1940’s jacket with a Disney headband (yep, I’ve done that at Fashion week).  I’ve been collecting and wearing vintage for close to twenty two years now, and find that I wear it with varying intensity over different times in my life.  There are indeed times that I wear head to toe vintage, from the hairstyle to the earrings to the shoes; everything is period accurate; but this could be for a variety of reasons.  I understand that there are many enthusiasts out there that participate in “Re-Creation” types of events, which is something  I have yet to experience.  However, outside of specific modelling engagements where I might be hired for this purpose, there is no real rhyme or reason for when I decide to frock up in that manner. It could be just about anything, even a dreaded visit to the supermarket that motivates me to spice it up a little.

Going vintage all the way!

Do I have more than one wardrobe? Yes. But not in the way you might expect. I have (to be honest) about three wardrobes on the go at any one time, and this is to cater to  space limitations.  If I had a dream walk in robe with a place for everything, then I’d only have one.  As it is I have it spilt across three areas in my own room, my guest room and my studio.  I divide it up by things that are currently out of season, things that need repair or alteration and things that are in current rotation. It may sound fabulous but believe me it is a never ending source of angst trying to manage such a cobbled together system. The one thing you will not find…. the old jeans and t-shirt or logoed tracksuit anywhere to be seen.

I don’t have an “on duty / off duty” wardrobe, so everything you see on the blog is the way I dress, all the time.  Yes, sometimes it is more theatrical and intense for specific purposes like show casing that amazing gown from Violetville earlier in the week, but you will also find that most of it is just my day to day look. I don’t fluff about styling fancy photo shoots in things I don’t actually wear, just for the purpose of this blog. Frankly, with two small children to get fed and out of the house on time I just don’t have the time, and when evening comes around I certainly don’t have the energy. 99% of my Daily Outfit photos have to be done in two minutes flat on the front porch.

While I believe that you can add more glamour and magic to your everyday life through what you wear, there are times when I have to make compromises and times when I just don’t have it in me to go the whole nine yards in dolling up. However, my version of dressing down or casual, seems to be a bit different to the generally held standard these days.  The only time you will find me in a dressing gown for the whole day, I must be near death’s door with illness, only appearing from the bedroom to garner more sympathy.

I do own and wear gym clothes (like these), but they will only be seen in the gym or enroute – not picking up the shopping or hanging out for coffee. Now that is not to say that I expect the same from everyone else,  it is just that for me if  I spend a day dressed like this I don’t feel like myself and that doesn’t make me happy.

Makeup free  (if you don’t count lipbalm) going to the gym.

I don’t always wear makeup. There are times and days when it just  isn’t appropriate.  If I know I’ll be spending the entire day out in the garden working hard (ish), then I will usually be seen in my solitary pair of jeans, huge hat, bare faced only with slatherings of sunscreen and lipbalm. Attempting to reapply 40+spf over a full face of makeup whilst also attempting to keep dirt out of your eyes is just ridiculous. Besides which, with a slathering a red lipbalm and huge dark sunnies that is enough glamour for my rose bushes to handle!

I also try to have at least one makeup free day a week. A day to let my skin relax, breath and have a bit of a DIY facial. This is not as relaxing as it sounds however, as it is usually accompanied by screams of feigned terror at the Mama Monster and her masked face. I attempt to salvage my glamour factor in these instances by wearing a fabulous vintage dressing gown, sipping tea  (whilst Tweeting) and imagining myself away.

So B, I hope this is the answer you were looking for, and for everyone else I hope this gives you a better picture of who I am. The short answer is that everything you see on this blog is me. There is no alter ego, no hidden stylist, no pro photographer.  The reason I began writing this blog and the reason  I am so passionate to spend a large chunk of my life on it is to show that should you wish to, it IS POSSIBLE to make your life a little bit more glamorous.

You don’t need to be rich or famous, you don’t need to be artistic or have a team of specialists on hand.

You just need to want it and be courageous!

It seems Princesses are getting a bad rap again. Mia Freedam wrote this piece the other day about why “Princesses Piss Her Off”.  All this talk about “there are no Happily Ever After’s” and “Why doesn’t Cinderella go to Tafe?” – is missing the point entirely. It is about FANTASY!

Too many people spend their lives wallowing in misery, delighting in the misfortunes of others to make themselves feel better or perhaps bitching at fairytales as false advertising.  These are the same people that never seem to look on the bright side, find the silver lining or make the best of it with a smile… like a Princess would do.

Now we are not talking about REAL Princesses here. Not your Diana’s and Mary’s, but your Cinderella’s, Mulan’s and Giselle’s (a personal favorite).  Those often told stories of gowns, fairy godmothers and Princes as well as those that have been animated several times over.  I find it entirely riddiculous that Snow White can be derided for her (animated) diminuative waist and its unrealistic proporations when you consider the context of the story; with Wicked Queens, Poison Apples and Seven small men who mine for carts full of diamonds each day! If we are going to go after Snow White for her dietary restrictions then certainly we must equally expect birds to come and clean our house when we whistle for them.  The argument that our children will grow up with a warped sense of reality or expectation of an immenently arriving Prince, also assume that the same children will live in squalor until the forest folk come in to spritz the place up. Frankly, if you think your children will grow up warped from having these girls as role models then perhaps you should step in and bridge the gap to broaden their education rather than burning poor Ariel at the stake.

So we know I think this “Princesses are the Anti-Christ and leaders of the feminine enslavement movement” are just bollocks. But just why do I love them?

Firstly, because they are stories I can pick and choose which elements I want to take away from them. As a child I grew up reading loads of Agatha Christie, but you won’t find me in the parlor walloping someone with a candle stick on a Saturday night. Here is what I choose to take away for my own indulgent uses:

Cleaning - Cleaning, when done with a song or at least music, is infinetly more plesant. Cleaning in a sweeping skirt and tiara is the bees knees.

Big Skirts - Petticoats, swishy skirts and dresses make you feel a million bucks on the inside and make you smile on the outside – especially when you catch a breeze.

Animals: Having animals as friends makes you happy.

Appearances can be decieving: Just because it looks like a metaphorical shiny red apple, doesn’t mean it is always good for you.

Beauty shines from within: Whether they were a frog or a beast, there was a good hearted Princess who looked past her fear or prejudices and sought to know the goodness of the person inside.

Princesses have manners: Enough said.

Choose what you take from the story to build your own Princess perfect fairytale.

The lead up to Christmas can be such a hectic time that we save up all our relaxing for the day after. Boxing Day in Australia usually means hang overs or early mornings to hit the post Christmas sales. For me, I like to spend those few days between Christmas and New Years taking a few deep breaths and taking stock of what has gone before. What has worked and what hasn’t. It is less about making resolutions for the new year than it is about thinking of the things I would have liked to have had time for and figuring out how to make that happen.

I’m also choosing to extend my Christmas glow this year well into the new year, by having friends and family join me on my return to Melbourne for yet another “Christmas ” party.  That is, a chance to chill out with my puppies and nearest and dearest instead of running around with days full of commitments.  It seems only fitting to enter a new decade with a fresh perspective, a new modus operandi if you will. So many of us feel compelled to start each new year placing more and more expectations on ourselves only to be sadly disappointed with our lack of achievements come the following December. And while I believe that a good plan is the key to success, it isn’t the be all and end all.  So in a some what contradictory fashion, I have come up with a plan to do away with a the pressure of a plan. (Stick with me, it is just the way my brain works).

There are loads of things I want to do this year, but instead of looking at the things I  want to do, I am focusing on how I want them to make me feel.  For instance; my studio is full of materials and good intentions that have not been touched in the last twelve months.  I am itching to get stuck into some good projects and finish many of those that were started several years ago.  Ordinarily, I tend to put myself under pressure to get things done once I start them, often tackling only those projects that can be finished in one day so that I feel ‘complete’.  What the last year has taught me is that working this way means I often spend what should be enjoyable, therapeutic creative time, being crabby and time pressured; snapping at people around me and not enjoying the process. So the upshot of all this is that if I focus on enjoying the process, then no matter how long it takes to finish something it will still be a success and I will still have found the benefit I set out to achieve. Ergo, success through a lack of traditional, externally quantifiable goal posts. (Clearly I am onto my third espresso of the morning here – or I have been watching too much holiday special Frasier).

I’ll be interested to see just how well this works for me being a rather driven, list making, type A personality. But whatever happens, you know you’re along for the ride!

*I’m still in Sydney, eating too much, sleeping little and finding excuses to dress up. I’ll have lots of pretty pictures on my return home to my super speedy internet connection.*

A Christmas Dance - by Norman Rockwell

Let’s be honest. None of us need more crap. We spend so much time looking at pretty things on the internet thinking, “Oh that is so shiny / lovely/ fancy etc..”, but really, when it comes down to it how likely is it that we’d buy it all even if we had all the money in the world and where would we put it? Which brings me to my point.

For Christmas this year I don’t really want anything. Well, I certainly don’t want for anything, and there is very little on the list of things I covet that friends and family would actually know enough about me to find as gifts. I certainly don’t want boxes of bath salts and more serving platters. I don’t want novelty aprons or more things I have to dust.

Here is what I would like.

People with less attitude.

Around this time of year, many media columnists think we will be entertained by their rantings of how awful Christmas is. How the drunk uncle always sets the cat on fire and how crap it is to have to sit there with people you barely know wearing a paper hat from a cracker that leaks dye down your forehead on a sweaty Australian Christmas.  Clearly, I am already familiar with these scenarios, but reliving them over and over again through the eyes of a jaded columnist does nothing to make me feel better about the situation.

Instead I would like to read (for a change), a family who doesn’t give a damn that their turkey was overcooked because they got to spend one last precious Christmas with 92 year old Nana. How the children sat in wonder listening to tales of her childhood that gave them a sense of just how lucky they are, before singing a Carol or two and popping off to bed.

I’d like to hear about how whole streets got together to pool all their Christmas cash to donate to a shelter instead of buying each other more of those bath salts again.

I’m no Pollyanna, but I do know one thing; reading about how crap things are all the time makes you feel just that – crap. And that is not the Christmas I choose to have.

People that don’t act their age

Sometimes acting your age is critical. Obviously we don’t want our Doctor’s skipping into the office and playing jacks while we wait. What I mean by not ‘acting your age’, is to rediscover joy in the simple things that kids love and BE OKAY about it. Do you really want a fancy new cyclonic vacuum for Christmas or do you actually want the Collector’s Edition Holiday Barbie? How about that beautiful but understated black cocktail dress, lovely for sure, but will it be as fun at 4am as tulle petticoats and a bracelet made of Christmas Bells?

Singing in Public

If only life were a musical.. perhaps we’d go mad.. but perhaps, just once a year at Christmas time, we could get past that and initiate some spontaneous singing and dancing. A co-ordinated number with dancing trolleys at the supermarket, a visit to the Hairdresser that actually involves a Barbershop Quartet. Sure, it may seem mad, but if only once a year we could get past that social stigma of insanity, I’d bet we’d have a much happier day.

Time

We all wish for more time, so if it is so precious too us why do we not consider giving some of it away as a gift? Occasionally you will see this practice being utilized by children or by those seriously strapped for cash, often in the form of little I.O.U’s; but how many of us that can afford to just go and buy gifts ever consider giving away our time instead? I’m not talking about the obvious things like volunteering to feed the homeless, but about giving time to those nearest and dearest.  Perhaps you have a skill that someone in your family has always wanted to learn. You may make a mean scone or even the perfect cappuccino (all creme not bubbles).  instead of putting that latest blockbuster novel under their tree, offer to teach them the skill they so highly regard. Set aside an afternoon, a day, whatever it takes, and go one on one to give a gift that money can’t buy and that is – to us- so priceless.

Yes, that’s what I’d like.

Happy people that don’t give me a pain in the ear and teach me how to tango.

October is Breast Cancer awareness month, and in support of the cause I want to share with you the very personal story of my friend Christine. Christine and her sisters grew up with the knowledge that most of the women in their family had suffered from breast cancer. They’ve now turned their story into both a moving documentary and book, written by Christine’s sister, Veronica Neave.  In support of Breast Cancer awareness, I’m offering all my readers the opportunity to purchase the book, with all the funds raised going straight back into breast cancer research, awareness and support. I urge you to take some time out for this one, it is a very personal, raw and inspirational journey. *Please be aware that this story contains confronting personal images, before scrolling down.*

You’ve recently created a documentary, along with your family, about your personal journey. Can you give us a brief synopsis of your story:

My Great Grandmother (Maud) & Grandmother (Elsie) both died a Breast Cancer having contracted the disease before the age of 50.  My Aunt & Mother (the only 2 sisters in that family) both got breast cancer, again, prior to 50 (Pre-menopausal).  Both having mastectomies and undergoing the normal radiation & chemo therapy for breast cancer, my mother again got breast cancer where the previously infected breast used to be, anyway My sister Ronnie with my Mum had been on a Breast Cancer Research program for about 10 years and it was about 3 years ago that they discovered the BRCAII gene in my mother which then set off a domino effect of testing on all her offspring.  It took many months to undergo the genetics counseling and testing but the end result was that all of us tested positive for the BRCAII gene which escalated our general population risk from 6-11% to be 85-90% risk rate of getting this dreaded heirloom.   Nothing had hit us at this point as it was all statistics and science..

As I was the eldest, my journey started first.  We sisters had long lived with the knowledge that there was a strong pattern that had formed with the females of our clan so it was always in the back of our minds, but it wasn’t until the facts & new scientific knowledge was presented to us on a silver platter that we confronted the real possibilities of what laid ahead of us.  I had been on the yearly cycle of ultrasounds, mammograms anyway but then I had to quickly ramp that up to include Breast Cancer & Endocrine Specialists as well as moving to 3 monthly checks… It was very costly and was increasing my anxiety over the whole issue.  My Surgeon (who I incidentally fell in love with – as you do with your life savior), put it straight to me… your not getting any younger and fast approaching “that time”  (what time was this I wondered!!) – it was PMT (Pre-menopausal time = danger time = opening the doors to welcome the heirloom that had been waiting for enter & infect my body time!!..What?  I’m too young (at just 41 at that time) BUT I did believe that to prevent yourself from ever getting that first cancer gave you even better odds as experience shows me that once you’ve had it, you are more prone to 2^nd primaries or even secondary’s and this wasn’t a risk I wanted to take.So I heeded Dr D’s advice and set a date   This was backed up by one of my closest friends who lived in Perth (only a couple of years older than me) calling me about 1 week later, to tell me she had Breast Cancer!!  I was floored… I flew over the next day and went through her operation with her and this cemented my decision to remove my healthy breasts post haste…She was BRCAII positive as well!!  I feel I am the lucky one…..

How did this knowledge impact you in defining yourself as a woman?

– The knowledge of the BRCAII diagnosis did not impact on me as a woman but rather a journey of these questions and definitions of me only started post op.. About a week after surgery I started crying and I did not stop for 2 whole weeks…  I cried for me as the woman I used to be, I cried out of guilt for all those women that did not have the choice and I did, I cried because I did not have cancer and felt like I did not deserve to feel this way,  I cried because I was mad at myself for not being strong enough to cope with the pain, I cried for all those women who could not afford to pay for this preventative surgery, knowing what they know and not being able to do anything about it…I cried for my missing breasts which had fed my child, made me feel sexy, gave me so much pleasure (I loved my breasts)!! And I cried because all my vintage clothes hung off me..  I looked hideous but then I cried because I was being stupid about feeling like that!!  You go through a massive grieving process; some do it with tears, some with anger… My sister did not cry but she had her cranky pants on for a couple of weeks and kept saying “I’ve missed the grieving process I’m fine,” but she was kidding herself!  Every one deals with grief/pain differently, but at the end of the day, its all the same process that we need to go through in order to overcome.  Today I AM a strong, confident, happy and blessed women who knows who she is and I still feel sexy!!

Can you explain the relationship a healthy mind and attitude plays in making us stronger?

– This is paramount, but sometimes overused or used in the wrong context.  Through talking to and asking many people their thoughts on the issue I found it quite amazing how some people actually thought (flippantly) I could overcome anything with the power of the mind. Don’t get me wrong I DO believe a healthy mind and positive attitude makes us strong, it helps us heal and alleviates most little things in life but there are some things that a healthy mind and positive attitude does not stop. BUT it is how we use that positive attitude that lift us up and get us through whatever it is we are faced with.

So often we are driven by competition and keeping up with others when it comes to defining our priorities. What motivates you and how do you feel your story has shaped that?

– My priorities changed when we started on this journey. My life before was all about competition, getting ahead, getting what I want, keeping up appearances (Huge)  and having more more more etc etc… Through this I have found more compassion that I ever thought I could possibly have for others, less need for all those things unnecessary, am able to let go of the unimportant things more easily, I try harder to think before I speak, I spend more time with myself and those I love and appreciate them and life more…  I make an effort each and every day to be nicer, control moods and try not to be selfish, greedy or have the “Oh woe is me” thing take over. I listen, I empathize try to understand others more. Going through this is a bit like being a very successful career person, having the best of everything at your feet with Louis Vitton & Moet Chandon as your companions (been there); to childbirth and poops & vomits and no time to shower or no money to spend (been there too).  The smile on that babies face when it looks at you makes all the rest pale to insignificance… I felt the same way.….

My motivation is my family and the fact that I now believe I have something to offer/give/share to help others.  This is why we did the documentary and book which were highly invasive and raw and confronting and personal; but I kept thinking how upset I was when almost no-one knew of this BRCAII. When I started,  I was almost a test dummy, there were no visual aids to answer those millions of questions you have, no personal journey story to relate to to make you feel like its all going to be OK at the end. They had endless amounts of stuff for cancer survivors but not for cancer “previvors”, which is what we are labeled as now.  I wanted other women who were going to be faced with this (and there are many) to have some idea of what their in for and to see its all OK on the other side..

There is much contention and argument surrounding us as women and the priority we place on looks.  What is your understanding of the role that image plays in defining a sense of self?

– Simple; value yourself and feel worthy enough to be beautiful inside and out.  A great quote I read once “Before she allows the world to judge her face, a woman is entitled to create it! – That goes for the whole package in my eyes.  We can’t avoid the judgments, stares & comments from others but we can stand tall with confidence if our intention for attention is not one of borne out of competition, malice or arrogance; but rather to feel good about oneself, then what’s the problem? We have a right to embrace ourselves and if wearing red lipstick defines me out in the image world, then who has the right to judge that. It’s personal choice.  If you haven’t got anything good to say about someone then don’t say anything. If I see an amazingly beautiful women dressed to the nines then I compliment her, I also note her appearance and take tips to better my own!  We all should take more pride in ourselves as we do our homes, our cars our gardens and everything else material. These days, we “pimp” almost everything, even our phones have bling, why not ourselves! As flowers brighten the world, so do women.

It can be a simple yet eternal struggle to get up and get fancy every day. Where does time spent on yourself fit into your daily priorities? – One thing I have learned through doing the Lindy Charm School for Girls is to refine my most comfortable, yet individual, look and get it down pat in 10 minutes flat given I’ve always had to juggle (like almost all women)  either single parenthood with the usual morning activities, careers, relationships, housework. Then later in a marriage and blended family, with even more kids,  I always found that at the very least with some lippy and a flower in the hair, it would always brighten even the most trying of days. It is essential to me.

Where do you find inspiration each day?

– My belief in God, my Family, from every woman that went before me to pave the way for me being the women I am today.  From all the women I meet today that are doing amazing things that I can learn from.

“Pieces of me Genetically flawed – surviving the breast cancer I may never have” is the book written by Christine’s sister Veronica Neave. You can purchase this book here or from the link in the side bar. Until Christmas, $10 from the purchase price of $24.99 AUD, will be donated straight back into  the Breast Cancer research and awareness fund. All you need to do is enter the code “MAMA” upon checkout to ensure that your donation is allocated. They are happy to ship internationally, so all of you have an opportunity to experience this amazing story and make a difference.