Recently I’ve been asked the same question by a number of people, both readers and good friends. That is, “How do you know who you are?”.  What they want to know is that in my role as wife and mother, how do I retain such a strong sense of self?  Let me tell you, this hasn’t always been the case.

Just like anyone else, I have had times in my life when I’ve “fallen off the wagon” so to speak.  Times when work took over everything, time when appearances were the last thing on my mind, and time when I thought, “Is this it? Is this as good as it gets?”  But by and large, these moments have been blips on the radar of an otherwise colourful and memorable life.

One such time for me was after the birth of my first daughter. I had a body that no longer belonged just to me, in a shape I didn’t recognise and responsibilities that I hadn’t even contemplated before hand. A demanding schedule with very little sleep and only a small baby for company did nothing to help the situation.  Like so many women before me, I would look through old photo albums barely recognising the woman I was just twelve short months before hand. But it didn’t make me sad, melancholy or wistful; it made me mad. And just like Dylan Thomas said, I could feel a “rage against the dying of the light”.

Of course, my life wasn’t literally over, but as many mothers know deep down there is a little grieving that goes on for the girls we used to be. And frankly, I wasn’t having any of it. I didn’t want to be surrounded by Wiggles music and the life of a homogenised happy baby commercial; I wanted something that was mine, that was ours and that was a unique reflection of the people we are.

Yes, that is all a little deep and raw but it applies to so many situations. Those times a job is lost, when children leave home, when we go through a bad break up; any life situation that we have allowed ourselves to become overly content in and sneakily, it has come to define us. That’s when it is time to take measures into your own hands and rediscover what makes you you. It can be a long slow process, but it is ultimately a joyful one. So take heed my friends and I’ll give you the secrets that help me keep my groove each day.

ART -

Image via Patrick Ng on Flickr

In order to think about who I am I also have to think about who I was. Fortunately I kept my school art folio with pieces dating right back to early primary school.  Each piece contains a memory of a time, of friends, teachers, passions and stolen kisses behind the shed. This is super powerful stuff and a brilliant place to begin your journey.

Whether you draw, paint, doodle or whatever; now is the time to pick up your tools and start to create something for yourself. It never needs to be seen by another person, but the process of creating it, what inspires you and learning to look at the world with different eyes is something you need to retrain yourself to do.  These are the skills that you will use each day when doing the most simple things like choosing an outfit, picking the tea set that makes your happy instead of the one that is just on sale, or finding beauty in the small free moments that each day brings.

MUSIC -

Image via Buttha on Flickr

I still have a little child’s suitcase full of my very first cassette tapes.  The first cassingle I ever bought ( Poison’s ‘Unskinny Bop’!), Mixtapes with love messages from high school boyfriends and even recordings I made myself with a little microphone and a portable tape recorder.  Some of it makes me cringe but I never fail to see the influences of this music on myself. The times I bought albums to impress a boy but really hated the band, and those that I never played for anyone, my heart set to music. The albums I would dance to like my life depended on it ( Jive Bunny & The Mixmasters anyone?), and the albums I have bought many times over that still appear in my collection. Music feeds your soul. Don’t let it starve.

Also, never say never. When asked to define my music tastes I used to say, “Oh everything but XX, I hate X.” Mind you, I had never really given X a good go and neither had I explored it properly. So I took off those blinkers and made a foray into previously forbidden territory only to discover a brand new passion that set my soul on fire. This is how I found New Music Me and she can make even the worst day shine!

FOOD -

Image via Sifu Renka on Flickr

I’m not the greatest cook. In fact I’m downright lazy. But when you have to do it and you have more than yourself to cater for, the things you love often go out the window. You find yourself living on a diet of spaghetti that pleases all and indulging in a block of chocolate afterwards as if that will make up for the neglect your palate has been suffering. Allow yourself to eat something that you really want. Something that may not be loved by all, may not be PC or even cheap. But do it, and do it just for you. If you want to eat a whole dozen natural oysters with caviar, then by golly  you’d better do it! Even if you have to hide in a tub of bubbles, or eat the sitting alone on the front porch, it is just you and your food. Treating yourself like the King of the Castle every now and again with nary a thought for the other occupants whims is key to true decadence and a great way to get in touch with what you really love.

There is so much more I could say on this topic, but this is the place to start.

So I’m offering you my challenge, my life line if you will.  Try these three simple things and tell me what a difference it makes to you. You can come back here and ask me questions or leave me comments to let me know how you get on.

Remember, life is for living – do it with all the passion and verve you can!

It seems that just about every blogger out there has done a “What’s in My Bag” post over the course of time, but not me. I’ve been asked to do this several times, but just keep forgetting to photograph. So when I came across my Holy Grail handbag at Wintersun this year, it was a great excuse to combine showing you this beautiful bag and to illustrate just how amazing it is by showing you what I can fit in it!

The contents of my bag vary slightly depending on the day, but this is what I carry most days.  I decided to shoot all this on my Hello Kitty tea tray so that you can see the relative size of each piece as well; and also just for gratuitous use of cute props..

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Top row: iPhone, coin purse, handcream

Bottom row: Mirror, key case, wallet

I’ve made it a point to collect matching silver vintage GloMesh and I love the way it is all coming together. Next on the agenda is a DIY silver mesh iPhone case!

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Top row: Compact powder, fold up parasol, breath mints,nail glue, eye drops, lace trimmed handkerchief, homeopathic remedy.

Bottom row: Business cards, lip pencil, lipstick, lip gloss, tape measure, comb.

All very important and in the bag every day.

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Top row: Vintage hand fan, mini video camera that doubles for stills, sunglasses

Bottom row: Gorilla tripod, Cigarette case (for holding all manner of small bit and bobs, like mini sewing kit, earrings I take off and don’t want to loose etc..)

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So this is rather a lot to be carrying around each day without resorting to a large shoulder bag or the whole ’schelping’ thing I fear.  And this is the reason I took all these shots on the tray, so I could also shoot the handbag that holds it all on the same tray and show you it’s Tardis-like qualities!

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1950’s, painted leather, framed handbag with gold detailing and little gold feet!

Best Bag Ever!

And for 20 bonus points it even has a RED interior!

I don’t know if I could love this bag anymore than I already do.  I’m treating it to regular conditioning and top shelf placement in the hope of having it last another fifty plus years.  Do you have a favorite vintage bag that works with everything and what sort of things do you carry around?

Sunday was an exciting day for smart, independent, feminine women here in Australia. It was the big launch of the brand new Femme Fatale magazine!  Captained by Danielle Vecchio – Editor Extraordinaire, Femme Fatale is for women, by women. It is about being in control of your own destiny, shaping your life the way you want, living your dreams and not compromising your femininity on your way to the top.

Danielle is a woman after my own heart, someone who understands that one can be smart and stylish, mother and maven, the star of your own show.  Each issue features Australian women who are living examples of following their passions and living the life they choose.  You’ll find art, fashion, photography, music, cars, performing arts, tattoos and all manner of other features. Yes, you can actually buy this one online, so for those of you looking for a little trans-pacific alternative style to add to your mag addiction – this is the one.

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Chatting with Danielle Vecchio, Editor of Femme Fatale

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Danielle with her inaugural covergirl and talented photographer, Helen McLean.

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One of the things I love about these events is the seriously good looking crowd. None more so than the fabulous Pixie, creator of Miss Pin Up Australia and head of Boogie Bop Dames, who took the cake in my book as most spectacularly dressed!

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The mini market stalls were a highlight of the afternoon, boasting fashion, art, music and even beautiful books.  I was pleased to see  Dr. Madeline there with her stellar work “Our Girls“.

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I also walked away with an arm load of new music (horray!) thanks to my lovely friend Jodi and Presstone Records.  You know that feeling when you have your first coffee after a weeks detox? That’s the feeling I get shopping here.

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Then onto the contests of the day..

The Tattoo Contest judges thought they had the best job in the world.

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A Pinup Contest was held to find Ms Femme Fatale.  Some lovely and brave girls got up to strut their stuff in day wear, evening wear and make a speech, while the judges looked on.

The judging panel was just as entertaining and beautiful as the contestants!

..right down to their toes!

Pepper Minx, Fashion & Tattoo Editor of Femme Fatale.

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I’m eagerly awaiting the next issue of Femme Fatale, both for the next round of articles and to find out..

just which red lipstick is the crowd favorite?

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*A Nuffnang Sponsored post*

Some days are unforgettable. Unforgettable in the sense that you know you’ll be talking about them for years to come and that little snippets of that moment will colour decisions you make in the future. Last Thursday was one of those days.
Thanks to Nuffnang and Federation Square, I was given the opportunity to experience the Tim Burton Exhibition at ACMI. When they emailed to ask if I’d like to go, my response was only one word; “yes!” followed by many gratuitous exclamation marks.  Since my very first Beetlejuice Burton moment, I’ve been hooked on the colour, the style, the twisted carnival sensibilities of his productions.

So I raced around prepping up for the big night and (sadly) can only tell you what I wore as the greatest tragedy of the evening was only to be discovered the next day. Alicia and I had the unique opportunity to photograph some of the exhibition including posing with our favourite pieces, only to find that every single image was corrupted on the card! (One of those moments when you want to stab yourself in the eye with a fork.) So for those of you that care, I wore a black and charcoal striped hobble skirt over a tightly laced corset, black silk chiffon blouse and a midnight blue velvet tailcoat with silver buttons. Please engage imagination here.

Arriving at Federation Square as dusk becomes dark was an experience to behold. The pink cobbled pavement wends beneath your heels and carries you into the centre . There are students sitting close, chatting in plumes of smoke. Suit clad lads laughing over beer as a tall blonde flicks her hair and takes their order.  A crowd begins to gather in the shadow on the big screen with lap rugs and steaming coffee in paper cups, awaiting the upcoming streaming of Tim Burton’s Materslass. During Winter they are hosting a Solar Equation; a huge representation of a glowing pulsing sun, hovering in the darkness. I stood beneath it feeling like an extra in Dr. Who and wondering at the instant sense of community it created, as a crowd gathered beneath to take pictures and talk about the warm orange glow. I even videoed a little bit Fed Square Solar Equation

I had a quick jaunt around the ACMI store prior to meeting our chaperone, and found some serious reasons to take your credit card along, as they had a fantastic collection of Burton books and toys including Oyster Boy and Stainboy!

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Upon meeting our delightful ACMI host we were invited to one of the most coveted and thrilling highlights of the exhibition – The Masterclass with Tim Burton! I don’t think I’ve ever sat so close to the edge of my seat for a full hour and a half.  It was a moment where I tried to force my brain into record mode and hung on to every word, in spite of the waves of goose bumps threatening to topple me from my chair.

Heading into the exhibition in a haze of post-Burton chat honeymoon, gave the whole experience the sense of the historical and I knew then that this was something I’d never forget. Descending the stair case in a wash of scarlet lights, I turned to see one of the first things that had my heart in a handgrip. The full sized garden topiary from Edward Scissor hands. I was glad to be there in company and half dark or otherwise the tear that sprang to my eye would have made it into a complete stream.  For me, Edward Scissor Hands was a particularly powerful film, so to come face to face with such a stunning and beautiful symbol was almost a bit much. However, being the professional I am, I composed myself and went about the business of taking it all in so I can tell you about it now.

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I don’t wish to spoil the magic of the exhibition so I won’t tell you all the surprises and highlights, but I have to tell you that there is something so extraordinarily inspiring about this exhibition. Seeing the evolution not only of Tim’s work, but of the man himself- his life, his journey both emotionally and professionally, leaves you wanting to sketch till daybreak.  You don’t need to have an artistic bone in your body to appreciate Tim’s work, he’ll provide plenty of bones for you! (Ha!) It is music, song, touch, tears, dreams and nightmares.  It is all those parts of yourself that exist to give you a unique sense of self, and as such you’ll each take something different away from your experience.
Overwhelmingly, the first thing I wanted to do was arrange a date to take my daughters back to see it for themselves. At nearly three and just turned six, they already appreciate the humour, the dark and light, the love and tragedy of a Burton film. (Nightmare before Christmas gets great airplay at my house). It may be difficult to stop them from wanting to touch and feel, but the pay off in feeding their imaginations and letting them walk into a living fantasy is too great to deny them that opportunity.
To top off this amazing experience was a moment in which many of you will kick me over. Actually meeting Tim Burton and having not one memorable thing to say! I don’t often have fan girl moments, but this was something else. Other than saying something like, “I’m honoured”, was about as far as I got, as my brain lit up like a firecracker at the momentousness of it all. In fact, I am going in again tomorrow!  I took a little video snippet inside the Burton club to share with you, (it seems to be the only image of mine that survived!)

The Tim Burton Club at ACMI Fed Square in Melbourne from super kawaii mama on Vimeo.

Both ACMI and MoMa have done such an outstanding job putting this exhibition together that you MUST go and see it. And like I said on Twitter, even if you have to sell a kidney to get there – go and see this! After all, that would be a rather Burton-esque way to do it!

Awesome stuff-

Do you want to go to ACMI and see the Tim Burton Exhibition for yourself? Of course you do!!
I have 2 for 1 passes to give away! Just leave me a comment telling me why you need to go and see this for yourself – the best entries will get a 2 for 1 pass. ( Open to Australian Residents only)