Recently I’ve been asked the same question by a number of people, both readers and good friends. That is, “How do you know who you are?”.  What they want to know is that in my role as wife and mother, how do I retain such a strong sense of self?  Let me tell you, this hasn’t always been the case.

Just like anyone else, I have had times in my life when I’ve “fallen off the wagon” so to speak.  Times when work took over everything, time when appearances were the last thing on my mind, and time when I thought, “Is this it? Is this as good as it gets?”  But by and large, these moments have been blips on the radar of an otherwise colourful and memorable life.

One such time for me was after the birth of my first daughter. I had a body that no longer belonged just to me, in a shape I didn’t recognise and responsibilities that I hadn’t even contemplated before hand. A demanding schedule with very little sleep and only a small baby for company did nothing to help the situation.  Like so many women before me, I would look through old photo albums barely recognising the woman I was just twelve short months before hand. But it didn’t make me sad, melancholy or wistful; it made me mad. And just like Dylan Thomas said, I could feel a “rage against the dying of the light”.

Of course, my life wasn’t literally over, but as many mothers know deep down there is a little grieving that goes on for the girls we used to be. And frankly, I wasn’t having any of it. I didn’t want to be surrounded by Wiggles music and the life of a homogenised happy baby commercial; I wanted something that was mine, that was ours and that was a unique reflection of the people we are.

Yes, that is all a little deep and raw but it applies to so many situations. Those times a job is lost, when children leave home, when we go through a bad break up; any life situation that we have allowed ourselves to become overly content in and sneakily, it has come to define us. That’s when it is time to take measures into your own hands and rediscover what makes you you. It can be a long slow process, but it is ultimately a joyful one. So take heed my friends and I’ll give you the secrets that help me keep my groove each day.

ART -

Image via Patrick Ng on Flickr

In order to think about who I am I also have to think about who I was. Fortunately I kept my school art folio with pieces dating right back to early primary school.  Each piece contains a memory of a time, of friends, teachers, passions and stolen kisses behind the shed. This is super powerful stuff and a brilliant place to begin your journey.

Whether you draw, paint, doodle or whatever; now is the time to pick up your tools and start to create something for yourself. It never needs to be seen by another person, but the process of creating it, what inspires you and learning to look at the world with different eyes is something you need to retrain yourself to do.  These are the skills that you will use each day when doing the most simple things like choosing an outfit, picking the tea set that makes your happy instead of the one that is just on sale, or finding beauty in the small free moments that each day brings.

MUSIC -

Image via Buttha on Flickr

I still have a little child’s suitcase full of my very first cassette tapes.  The first cassingle I ever bought ( Poison’s ‘Unskinny Bop’!), Mixtapes with love messages from high school boyfriends and even recordings I made myself with a little microphone and a portable tape recorder.  Some of it makes me cringe but I never fail to see the influences of this music on myself. The times I bought albums to impress a boy but really hated the band, and those that I never played for anyone, my heart set to music. The albums I would dance to like my life depended on it ( Jive Bunny & The Mixmasters anyone?), and the albums I have bought many times over that still appear in my collection. Music feeds your soul. Don’t let it starve.

Also, never say never. When asked to define my music tastes I used to say, “Oh everything but XX, I hate X.” Mind you, I had never really given X a good go and neither had I explored it properly. So I took off those blinkers and made a foray into previously forbidden territory only to discover a brand new passion that set my soul on fire. This is how I found New Music Me and she can make even the worst day shine!

FOOD -

Image via Sifu Renka on Flickr

I’m not the greatest cook. In fact I’m downright lazy. But when you have to do it and you have more than yourself to cater for, the things you love often go out the window. You find yourself living on a diet of spaghetti that pleases all and indulging in a block of chocolate afterwards as if that will make up for the neglect your palate has been suffering. Allow yourself to eat something that you really want. Something that may not be loved by all, may not be PC or even cheap. But do it, and do it just for you. If you want to eat a whole dozen natural oysters with caviar, then by golly  you’d better do it! Even if you have to hide in a tub of bubbles, or eat the sitting alone on the front porch, it is just you and your food. Treating yourself like the King of the Castle every now and again with nary a thought for the other occupants whims is key to true decadence and a great way to get in touch with what you really love.

There is so much more I could say on this topic, but this is the place to start.

So I’m offering you my challenge, my life line if you will.  Try these three simple things and tell me what a difference it makes to you. You can come back here and ask me questions or leave me comments to let me know how you get on.

Remember, life is for living – do it with all the passion and verve you can!

It has been such a huge weekend here, and it began for me on Friday with the Victorian heat of Miss Burlesque Australia where I was privileged to be a part of the judging panel. It was a night to see some of the up and coming Burlesque performers of Victoria work their shimmy and vie for the crown of Miss Burlesque Australia.

I did take a few photos at the event, (not many though as I was pretty busy), but I shot them on my new secret camera. I’m saving them to reveal all those details at the same time.

Given that I was there to specifically assess the entrants based on their styling criteria (amongst other things), it was only fitting that I wore something rather special myself. The evening’s gown is a 1930′s bias cut velvet gown, courtesy of Circa Vintage Clothing here in Melbourne.

I just adore this dress. I’ve been fortunate enough to model it a few times for different parades so I already knew that it fit like a glove. So much so that I’m planning to take a pattern from it and have it made up in several shades… too divine not to!

Outfit Details

Dress – 1930′s bias cut velvet, courtesy of Circa Vintage Clothing

Heels – Silver satin with diamonte detail, by Nina from NOVO

Earrings – Original 1930′s diamonte screw in posts, leaf design

Bracelet – Reproduction deco design by Fifth Avenue

Lipstick – Boots No. 7 Moulin Rouge

Nail colour – RED from The Face Shop

There are some moments in history that you really wish you were there for. And there is a particular day back in 1956, in a small room with a few men that is one of those days for me. It was a day when the music gods smiled and placed four legends in the same room, at the same time, where they did what musicians do and had some fun playing together.

Sam Phillip’s legendary Sun Studio played host to this moment, on a day when Carl Perkins was in recording an album (that was to include ‘Blue Suede Shoes’), when Elvis Presley dropped by. Jerry Lee Lewis was also there as a session musician waiting for a chance to show off his killer piano boogie styling; the moment was completed by the entrance of none other than Johnny Cash.

In a moment of serendipity and foresight, someone thought to switch on the recording equipment as these legends jammed together, giving us a chance to hear the one and only time these four men ever played together. And it was magical.

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The Ultimate Jam Session, produced by Bold Jack Productions, is your chance to relive this historic moment in all its goosebump inducing, heart stopping glory. Fronted by James Blundell, Dave Larkin, Nick Barker and Ezra Lee, backed up and held together by the versatile Sun Studio Trio – Dave Folley, Steve Hadley and Shannon Bourne. These lads put together are pure joy. Last Friday night I had to opportunity to sit front and centre as the boys kicked off their show with a bang.  Now this isn’t your ‘tribute’ style of show replete with stereo typical costumes and bad wigs, but just unadulterated, first class Rock n Roll. They keep it simple, tight and let the music speak for itself.  They shake you to your core with riffs that move your body,  vocals that make women swoon and men holler.

As I sat there watching tendrils of smoke curl in the spotlight and listening to my passion come to life, my heart was in my mouth.  Like that rush of adrenaline and endorphins that hit you on the first date with a big crush. And it didn’t subside, not for one second.

But it is more than just great music, it is a journey to a musician’s heart. Behind the big names, behind the hype, behind the screaming fans; just four brilliant men playing up and playing around, letting themselves enjoy the music for the music’s sake.

It was The Day the Music Lived.

Come backstage and meet the men behind the show.

What a night!

Posing around with Ezra Lee and hearing all about his upcoming trip to Vegas to play with Jerry Lee Lewis. Go Ezra!

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Nick Barker approves of the Kitty Von Purr dress.

The show will be playing all over Melbourne and Australia regionally, before getting set for an even bigger season. You can find out when and where the next show is playing on The Ultimate Rock n Roll Jam Session Facebook page.

*Yes, I recorded this in six inch heels, with my little hand held camera in the near dark of stage side, trying not to get too distracted by lilting voices and sultry eye.. so bare with me – it’s just like being there!*

You may have seen my little post the other week about the Kitty Von Purr dress, or you may have noticed the lovely picture of Bernie Dexter at the top of this site, and you may also be asking yourself,  “How does one fight cancer with style?” Either way, there is a story here to tell you.

To start at the begining I have to tell you how much I love the internet, (as if you didn’t know). The way it can bring like-minded people together who, for all sorts of reasons, not least the geographic, may have never otherwise met. It can also make those ‘six degrees’ so much smaller.  And this is how I met Kitty Von Purr.

Originally from Brisbane, Australia; Kitty now lives in Nashville Tennesee. Being a fellow Australian it turns out that we have many mutal friends, and so our connection was born. Through our keyboards we’ve be chatting about our love of vintage, music and wonderful people… as well as Kitty’s current battle with breast cancer.  So many of my Australian and other international readers (including myself) have little understanding of the US Health System (such as it is) which plays a big part in Kitty’s life and opportunities for treatment at the moment.

One of the things I treasure about this community of wonderful people both online and in life, is that it keeps us connected and offers support, no matter how far apart we may all be. So I asked her to share a bit of her story with you.

“I am an Aussie gal living in Nashville Tennessee, my husband is from here. I do not have health insurance like so many Americans…

The early years !
The first vintage piece I bought was in my first year of high school, it was a cotton blouse with cigarette packets/brands all over it, and I still have it ! I bought because I thought it was funny & cute. Then I opened my first vintage store in the early 80′s while still in my teens, then a second not much longer after that.  After that, I went to live in London for 2 years where I met cool rockabilly girls ( Vivien of Holloway ).

On returning to Australia I had a vintage furniture store in Darlinghurst called Okie Dokie with a friend Jane Fisher ~ she died from breast cancer..

I then started a vintage cosmetic company called Bella Cosmetics. I think I  was too soon with this idea;  if I had it today in the world of the internet I would make a fortune…….
So….back to now. In December I flew home to Australia as my step dad died; and while I was there I had my mammogram. I have one every 2 years, but I had had one 12 months prior as I was told I had a cyst under my arm and they wanted to double make sure. So when I had my mammogram the technician asked of I had noticed any changes. I told her the left nipple was only ever so slightly drawn in but it was probably because I had recently lost weight.

The scan was clear,  ( 20 % of breast cancers ARE NOT seen in a mammogram ) mine was only detected under ultrasound. I also did not have a lump, mine is flat and by the time I could “feel” it it was already stage 3 .
I was asked to come back the following day to see a doctor, so off I went the next day, not worried or concerned; the idea of breast cancer had not even entered my head.

Next day I went to the Breast Clinic  they did an ultrasound and I could tell that something was wrong ! The Doctor then told me it was a large aggressive breast cancer, in the 60 minutes he spoke with me I only heard the words Cancer, Chemotherapy, Mastectomy and survival rate, the rest of what he said was like an episode of Snoopy, where the teacher is talking and Charlie Brown just hears wah wah wah wah…..

I have stage 3A breast cancer and I am learning to live with it, what has amazed me is the amazing support and generosity of other women. My beautiful Bernie Dexter went full steam ahead with trying to raise money as I wanted to stay in the USA for treatment. It is a year out of my life and wanted to be with my husband, in my bed, with my friends etc. Then my lovely friends Bernie Dexter, Christine Linarden & Christina Robles put together the money to finance the Kitty Von Purr cancer fund dress. At the same time my husband Blair Glover and his friends ( Miss Lolly and Dave Willie) put together a benefit show called Chemo Confidential with bands, a magician, hula hoopers, a fire eater & go go girls & loads of fun prizes !!! My friend Stacey Dixon, another pinup model, ran a raffle at her and her husband’s Nashville Tattoo Convention.  Then Olivia donated an art work for Bernie to sell.

All these amazing women stepping forward to help, it just humbles me so much to see how much women do care about each other !!! I have one girl Cassy Mummart Lawson, who’s Mum had breast cancer and every three weeks before chemo a card that she has handmade arrives. I have never met her but such a kind gesture lifts my spirits. My friend Christina (Dottie Devine) sends me boxes of organic fruit and gift cards for me to pamper myself. Bernie is just always there for me and has done soooooo much; she listens to me, the good and the bad, she has never wavered in her support even though she is so busy working and traveling for work, she is there for me 100 %.

Christine ( Pussy Le Claw) had been a sounding board and someone to have long phone conversations with and laugh and cry with. She never fails to make me laugh and talks to me about everyday life, cancer talk gets old really fast.
My friend Miss Inky emails me everyday and we chat about hairdos, hair don’ts and vintage clothing,shoes . All these women have no idea what a huge help the have been….”

And this is one of the reasons that I’m helping Kitty tell her story here. As a timely reminder to look after your breasts and always pay attention to changes no matter how small.  And also to show you the fantastic Kitty Von Purr dress, specially made by Bernie Dexter to raise some of the much needed funds to support Kitty during this time. 100% of the profits from this dress go directly to the Kitty Von Purr Cancer Fund, so it is perfect for helping you look good and feel great!

The dress itself is made of a heavy weight, cotton jersey; so it is super stretchy and super comfortable! It can be dressed up and taken out on the town, or even perfect for lazing around in a pair of fluffy boudoir heels with a glass of wine and a good man. Machine washable, no ironing, rolls up to nothing; you could even pop this one in your handbag for after work cocktails!

So if your thinking about a new dress, make it a Kitty Von Purr and fight cancer in style!

A whole six plus minutes of just talking about stuff. Didn’t really think this through, but thought it would make a change from just writing up random stuff I’ve been doing. And for those of you who have been asking what I sound like, now you know!
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