It seems Princesses are getting a bad rap again. Mia Freedam wrote this piece the other day about why “Princesses Piss Her Off”. All this talk about “there are no Happily Ever After’s” and “Why doesn’t Cinderella go to Tafe?” – is missing the point entirely. It is about FANTASY!
Too many people spend their lives wallowing in misery, delighting in the misfortunes of others to make themselves feel better or perhaps bitching at fairytales as false advertising. These are the same people that never seem to look on the bright side, find the silver lining or make the best of it with a smile… like a Princess would do.
Now we are not talking about REAL Princesses here. Not your Diana’s and Mary’s, but your Cinderella’s, Mulan’s and Giselle’s (a personal favorite). Those often told stories of gowns, fairy godmothers and Princes as well as those that have been animated several times over. I find it entirely riddiculous that Snow White can be derided for her (animated) diminuative waist and its unrealistic proporations when you consider the context of the story; with Wicked Queens, Poison Apples and Seven small men who mine for carts full of diamonds each day! If we are going to go after Snow White for her dietary restrictions then certainly we must equally expect birds to come and clean our house when we whistle for them. The argument that our children will grow up with a warped sense of reality or expectation of an immenently arriving Prince, also assume that the same children will live in squalor until the forest folk come in to spritz the place up. Frankly, if you think your children will grow up warped from having these girls as role models then perhaps you should step in and bridge the gap to broaden their education rather than burning poor Ariel at the stake.
So we know I think this “Princesses are the Anti-Christ and leaders of the feminine enslavement movement” are just bollocks. But just why do I love them?
Firstly, because they are stories I can pick and choose which elements I want to take away from them. As a child I grew up reading loads of Agatha Christie, but you won’t find me in the parlor walloping someone with a candle stick on a Saturday night. Here is what I choose to take away for my own indulgent uses:
Cleaning - Cleaning, when done with a song or at least music, is infinetly more plesant. Cleaning in a sweeping skirt and tiara is the bees knees.
Big Skirts - Petticoats, swishy skirts and dresses make you feel a million bucks on the inside and make you smile on the outside – especially when you catch a breeze.
Animals: Having animals as friends makes you happy.
Appearances can be decieving: Just because it looks like a metaphorical shiny red apple, doesn’t mean it is always good for you.
Beauty shines from within: Whether they were a frog or a beast, there was a good hearted Princess who looked past her fear or prejudices and sought to know the goodness of the person inside.
Princesses have manners: Enough said.
Choose what you take from the story to build your own Princess perfect fairytale.
It’s just perfect. Dark, spiced and a...
I love Princesses too. There’s enough misery in the world already. I want my fantasies pretty and pleasant. Preferably with big frocks and a happy ending.
YES. I read that article and by the end of it I was just so sad. Since when was it a story books job to teach your child it’s life values? Isn’t that supposed to be your job as a parent to teach your child what context to take things like stories? I spent my childhood reading Lord of the Rings and Narnia but I’m pretty sure that I’m aware that Orcs and Lions aren’t going to be hiding under my bed. It’s nice to have something nice to think about and cheer myself up with when I have a bad day. Common sense really isn’t that common these days. Blargh I could rant about this forever.
AMEN! This is the same stuff they use to bash Barbie. I am not a big Barbie fan or non fan. I just never got where people thought playing with her would warp little girls. Excuse me, but I have more sense (and had more sense at 6) to understand it is a TOY. It is NOT REAL.
I don’t get why people are like that, either. I guess the old saying, ‘misery loves company’ covers it….
Most young girls go through a princess stage, I think. It’s like wanting a pony. In real life, both being a princess or owning a pony is never going to live up to the fantasy but who wants to kill the dreams.
Brilliant minds must think alike. I wrote my little response to Mia’s tirade, which I read in the Sunday Age with some disbelief. I don’t have kids, but I can’t imagine that depriving children of fantasy and the ability to develop their imaginations could be a good thing.
http://unebellefille.wordpress.com/2010/01/24/fairy-tales-delightful-or-diabolical/
PS – First time commenting, but I’ve loved your blog for ages.
Haidi: Ineed, brilliant minds.
I just read your post, as well as having a look through your blog… WOW. You have some amazing photoagraphs there and you are an excellent writer as well! You’re now on my “Must Read” list. Thank you for the introduction. 
Candice, thank you for your lovely comments about my little blog! I’ve been a huge fan of SKM and it’s nice to finally comment – especially on a topic that is so close to my own heart.
I just have to say your makeup and grooming is so far superior to anyone else – keep up the good work!
x Haidi
It’s really the adults who warp what they see and then give it bad (or good) connotations.
Just like recently my boyfriend re-watched a movive that he loved as a kid, and later commented that he was surprised he’d loved it so much because it seemed really scary for kids.
It wasn’t scary for him THEN because kids don’t notice that kind of thing. Only adults do.
In a perfect world we’d all be oblivious to the bad things, I didn’t have a care about body image until I was about 16 – until then I’d been completely oblivious to my “flaws” because it had never occurred to me I might have any.
I’m really an optimist at heart and to see adults degrade the magic and fantasy in a child’s life by giving it negative connotations makes me furious. I hope my children soak up all the magic and wonder available and that they never stop dreaming.
PRO PRINCESS
I read the article and it makes my heart ache that the world can be so grey.
Since when did everyone have to blame everything else for the way of the world. Yes I love princess, I am a member of the princess club which promotes giving all us busy women space to recharge and find beauty in the world.
Yes you can trace my love of corsets back to Disney but like SMK said there are wonderful things you can take from these women.
I say more power to the Princess. I always believed that feminism was about the right to choice. Choice to work how we wanted to work, to choose job or family life or both, to choose what we looked like and choice to choose.
When I have my daughter I only hope she embraces the princess and trucks and every aspect of this world.
Just one last thing personally i used to have respect for mia when she was pro-normal size women in her magazine as editor but since she’s been promoted that no longer seems to around, and now its all lest whinge but change anything. So really anything she says now I take with a grain of salt.
To SKM and all the other princess out there I adore you and keep making this world a more beautiful place.
*Applause* for you, Candice.
“Hear, hear,” Violet.
Long live the fantasy land of the princess.
I love your blog. I’ve been reading for a while and this is the first time I’ve commented.
I agree – What’s wrong with injecting a little bit of happiness and enchantment into the world (which can be a very harsh place)? I think that little optimism and cheerfulness go a long way to brighting up your life.
(And I love Giselle too!)
It’s interesting that Ms Freedman now has a career deriding such things that she promoted in her former career.
I love it when you get ‘feisty’ and passionate about keeping femininity and joy alive in what would otherwise be a daily grind. You might like this post about why costumers costume. http://americanduchess.blogspot.com/2010/01/why-we-costume-part-1-every-dance-is.html
Keep fighting the frilly fight!
::applauding:: Well said!
If I had a younger sister I’d much rather she take Jasmine or Belle as a role model than the Britneys & Lindsays of this day & age, that’s for sure!
At least Belle could read and Jasmine cared about her elderly father!
Though I agree with the need for fantasy and that there are positive elements that can be taken away from princess storylines and personas. However, I think the point that Mia Freedam is making has been through this conversation. I believe this is partially due to her off-putting tone in her article and the unnecessary hostility. But the point she is making is one cultural critics have for quite some time. I’m addressing this strictly from the viewpoint of Disney films. The critique is that implicit with the femininity illustrated by these princesses is a sense of submission. These women generally have little to no power; their major drive in most these films involving getting into the arms of a man and creating domesticity, having little power or responsibility. Mostly they are passive and submissive to their male counterparts. Disney has gone so far as, looking at the Little Mermaid for example, change to original storyline to make the female character less powerful and less in control. The villains in a lot of these films are strong women taking control of their lives, also usually “ugly” or “fat”. The princess must overcome these deviant ideas of “womanhood” to reinstate the ideals fortified in the post-war era. The ideas of right and wrong are comingled with gender roles. This is what is scary about Disney princesses. They are all about keeping women in their places; keeping the “two spheres” separate and in proper power balance. The ideas of femininity and whimsy established in these films in inherently combined with these power dynamics (this is all very textbook Judith Butler).
You can make the argument that it’s the parents’ responsibility to define morals and social acceptability for their kids, but they cannot help but be influenced by other social learning “tools”; everything from media coverage to animated fairy tales. It’s great to have this fantasy of femininity, but the problem is differentiating that from a life of servitude and defining one’s life by marriage and submission to a masculine ruling power. These films combine and confuse these notions, thus making them a danger in a feminist age. There’s nothing wrong with femininity or whimsy–i think all of us here take pride in our femininity–but the problem is defining social acceptability and limitations of feminine power along with it. Sorry for the long response; just thought it was important to note!
on a side note, check out Angela Carter’s feminist retelling of fairytales. Women totally take charge and decide the course of the story. They’re great!:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bloody_Chamber
Here, here! Loves it!!!
This is so true! Love this post and all of the points you make. There is nothing wrong with a fairy tale ending they are always so romantic and feel good. I cant clean as efficient without some sort of music on and full skirts and petticoats crowd my closet and studio!
♥Darla
This made my day! And funny enough as a child my favorite Disney story was Robin Hood… which is lacking of princesses, but not of life lessons!
It never seems to occur to people that these little fantasies help children develop their imaginations! Where would any of us be without imagination?
Social commentary has become very strange of late. Either the commentators gaze on the world with po-faced disapproval proclaiming that letting little girls dress in pink will hamper their adult lives. Or else we are supposed to only focus on the positive (even if there isn’t any!).
I go back and forth on the whole princess thing. I love princesses but I also think you can’t ignore the influence that such images have on us. I remember watching the Little Mermaid when it came out and thinking, she’s going to never see her family again just for a boy! It seemed crazy even then.
I agree that no we don’t expect birds to come help clean our house but some of us do expect to find a “prince charming” who will sweep us off our feet right?
I don’t think that life should be without fantasy, but I do think its a problem when the same message of damsel in destress is repeated again and again.
I’m not saying that the princess thing doesn’t have its place, I mean princess is my nickmane at work
I just don’t think you can discount the influence it can have be it negative or positive.
But I hate it when the bluebird of happiness flies around my head and sings me a little song!
I Just LOVE you Princess Candice… Thank you for this blog, you’ve reminded me of so many things and now my day is happy. Simple as that.
xx Chrissy
To quote G.K. Chesterton “Fairy Tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
I am giving this a double-thumbs-up! There’s nothing wrong with a little fantasy and fun, whether you are four or forty-four. My housemate recently chided me for watching Girls of the Playboy Mansion. She said to me “you’re an educated woman, how can you watch that crap?”, to which I replied “because not everything has to be an intellectual persuit, some things can be purely for fun”. I don’t really idolize these women, but for a minute, it is fun to daydream about living in a gorgeous mansion, where every day is sunny and you can have a costume party every second night. It’s the same with princesses. Little girls do get that they aren’t real, but the idea and fantasy are the allure. Every little girl wants to wear a floaty dress and sing to birds who sing back. Hell, most grown women probably want that, even those who aren’t willing to admit it.
Plus, when I remember back to when I was five and loved playing Princesses with my friends, I was more excited about dressing up and drinking pretend tea than pretending to be rescued by Prince Charming. I think I was most attracted to the aesthetic than the relationship dynamics. I’m not so sure that little girls think about things like that…
Nessbow: Most excellent point! I know Miss Five is much more interested in the fancy dresses and the singing than in some Prince.. although she does like to wake daddy from naps with a kiss on the forehead now!
“Frankly, if you think your children will grow up warped from having these girls as role models then perhaps you should step in and bridge the gap to broaden their education rather than burning poor Ariel at the stake.”
AMEN! Perfectly said.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I just found your blog and I absolutely LOVE it! I love the world of imagination and fantasy and can’t understand why people try to degrade it just because it is not real. I think these people are just looking for someone/ something to blame for the bad things in the world, and the existence of fairytales are an easy target. The thing is no one ever claims that these fairytale princesses were real, no one is lying or trying to deceive anyone and I don’t see why the princesses have to be denowned books about vampires, witches and wizards are not. They are all unreal but the messages and certain lessons that princess tales teach are things that will help any one who can hear their stories without being blocked by the cloud of jaded cynicism. Thank you so much for such a beautiful post.
Aury: You know, I hadn’t even thought about the whole Anti-Princess movement in the context of the Pro- Vampire one! Thanks for reading and welcome to the blog!
The lesson I learnt from Cinderella? Your whole life can change due to a great pair of shoes!
Hello! I started to comment, but it got way too long, so I simply said my own piece on my blog. Feel free to read or not, and please keep in mind I’m not attacking YOU, just responding to the ideas you present, and I hope no offense is taken as none was meant.
Mia Freedman misses the point CONSTANTLY. Great discussion here though!
I’m amongst the other long time readers/first time posters here (I seem to have more blog commenting courage lately!).
I was shocked and saddened when I first read the article, but then it reminded me of something my boyfriend constantly comments on; is our society becoming TOO politically correct? I get the point that the author was trying to make and I agree on some level, but there is so much in the article that makes me want to cry!
Whatever happened to letting little girls be little girls? Why is it that our society seems so obsessed with being ‘mature’ and ‘grown up’? It seems to me that creativity and imagination and that beautiful child innocence is being bred out of childhood earlier and earlier in favour of more ‘mature minded’ pursuits. I see Princess stories and fairytales as encouraging children to dream and wish upon a star and see the good in the world. Reality can be pretty harsh sometimes, so why, for the love of all that is pink and frilly, can’t we let our children enjoy that innocent world for as long as they possibly can!
I really must add that Giselle is my hero. I saw Enchanted at the cinemas 3 times, with 3 different groups of friends and they all exclaimed during and after the movie, ‘Oh my goodness, you are so Giselle!’ and boy is it true. My boyfriend often calls me naive and worries about people taking advantage of me because I truly do try to always see the best in people. I always respond by saying that what he calls ‘naivety’ is just who I am, and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. My friend commented that Giselle was refreshing because she wasn’t butch or cynical or hard, and yet she was such a strong character. It really got me thinking that being ‘naive and innocent’ and believing that the world is good, that everyone has a beautiful soul and that love is the most powerful thing in the world is NOT a weakness! I think it’s something that is actually quite rare and should be fostered not beaten out of us! Princesses inspire hope and goodness and I’ll be damned if I’ll let someone take that away from me and my (eventual) children!
Sorry for the long reply! I’m just really passionate about this!
There’s not a lot I can say that doesn’t agree with what everyone else has already said. I love fairytales and princesses and always will, even though I am a bit of a feminist. I think what most people are missing though is that these fairytales were all written in the early 19th century, mostly by the Grimm Brothers. Things were different back then and women weren’t as lucky as we are today, but the morals of these fairytales can still guide us today!
Love your blog by the way
Cara: Thanks for your comment lovely to see you here. I think most people who are anti Princess seem to be aiming their ire at Disney, rather than the original versions.. but still it seems there is a lot of selective memory when it comes to Princess stories of the last decade. What about Mulan, Pocahontis (sp), Belle, Jasmine? Certainly no shy retiring wall flowers there. Like so much in life I think people read into these things what they want to see. I was tempted to make a great big academic post explaining my thoughts in more detail, but I could get very carried away and I’m trying to find a balance between getting a fundamental point across and boring the crap out of people.
So glad to see another strong, independant woman who ‘gets’ the whole Princess thing. Love your work.
[...] Kawaii Mama does a stellar (as always) post in Defence of Princesses and I totally agree. Although, I would be fine with a troupe of animals cleaning my house on a [...]