Life can be as colourful or monotone as you chose to make it. When I started writing this blog I was feeling depressed by the lack of colour I saw around me. Living in the suburbs where a blow dry and a pair of diamante earrings is considered dressing up during the day, it just made me want to scream. But would I bend to become a part of the landscape? I had never done it growing up and I couldn’t see a good reason to start now. Tired of seeing harried mothers in various shades of metaphorical fashion grey, I chose to challenge the status quo. Hence this blog was born.
Each day for me is another step on my quest to encourage beauty for beauty’s sake, fashion for arts sake and glamour as a technique for self expression. I am often stopped in the course of my day and asked questions like, “Oh, are you going somewhere special for dinner tonight?” to which I answer, “No, just picking up my daughter from kinder.” The antagonist in me finds the quizzical look that follows it so worth it too. It seems, particularly in the suburbs, that there is an unspoken rule that mothers are not allowed to dress with joy or flamboyance. Even when you do dress “nice”, it is within a certain formulaic, mass marketed framework with very little real room allowed for self expression.
I choose to add colour to my day, to paint with my imagination and bring my character to life. I choose to let my girls be a part of all this, being happier children with a happier mother. And I choose to take my colour to the suburban streets, pushing a pram in stilettos and fair welling my baby at kinder with red lipsticked kisses.
Good for you, Super K!
We all benefit from having glamour in our lives: I suspect the other mums have just gone the path of least resistance and “given up”. It’s a pity: thankfully you’re here to inspire us!
By the way, since we met I’ve started blowdrying my hair every morning, and using the hot rollers too, when I have the time. See what a good effect you’ve had on me?
Hmmm… you were working in the wrong company! One of my friends at work has a tongue piercing and multiple ear piercings + chunky black streaks in her blonde hair. We all work in a very corporate firm, but were allowed to express our individuality. We are very lucky!
Anyway, I think that you are awesome. I hope that when I’m a mother I am like you!
You’ve inspired me to make sure I don’t lose me when I have kids. It’s too often you see ladies that just let go of themselves because “they don’t have time”. Glad to know women out there aren’t all the same
I just wanted to say that I think that you are just wonderful! Truly inspiring to me, I don’t even have children yet and you have already insipred me to “clean up” my fashion act, and you know I really do feel better, I have always benn one to dress up, but now I do it alot more often, for no reason but to make myself feel good.
I’m a relative newcomer to your blog, SKM, but I’m also truly inspired by your style, your smarts, and now more than ever, your attitude toward fashion. Leading by example seldom works on complex, intellectually-driven behaviors … but with something as instinctive as style and fashion, I feel that it can have a real impact. Many people don’t realize how oppressive dark colors and ill-fitting forms can be until they SEE someone who has shunned these things.
Even if you get some sidelong glances from those suburbanites, I bet you’ve forced a handful of them to THINK a little more about why they dress the way they do. And that’s valuable and worthwhile and awesome.
And *this* is why I dig you so much! You are a fabulous inspiration to us all.
You are 100% spot on when ppl making you feel you have to justify your fabulous outfit…. it is so silly….you could almost reverse that and say ‘Why AREN’T you dressed to go somewhere special?’….. either way….it’s a silly double standard… for some, you might be too dressy and too dressed down at the same time….anyhow, your attitude is exemplary…
When people make comments like that — men people — I want to ask them about their interest in sports. I happen to think most sports are a waste of time and energy, yet I know guys who while away the day yelling at the TV and drinking beer…everyone has their own interest.
Such a pity you felt the need to tone down your style while working in an office but I know how that is. You are so right to dress up every day now that you have the opportunity.
So many people go through life in a drab way, it is inspiring to see your outfits. Its good to be alive and your style celebrates that.
BRAVO!!! I couldn’t agree with you more! I have always been put-off by the “mommy uniform” that I see in the ‘burbs around me, and determined that I shall not be that way when I have kiddos. I think I would shrivel up and die if I couldn’t express myself through my clothes.
You’re a real inspiration to me that motherhood and self-expression can mix! Keep adding brightness and color to your world–even halfway across the globe, it’s appreciated! 
Thankyou Super K!
Because how you look on the outside is often how you feel on the inside! That is what this means to me> As a "special Mum" keeping the black dog at bay is even more important. When I look in the mirror I don't want to see dark circles, bed head hair and bummed out tracksuit pants. And neither do my kids and husband. So I think of you each morning when I am straightening my hair, and putting an extra dollop of eyeliner on; sure I even started wearing base again after your tutorial! And then I slip into my chunky gold wedges and ………
drive the kids to special school.
We might sometimes get back handed compliments (the irish are good at that) but I don't care because I feel good. And I know I am not alone because I know that Skylark wears extra kohl pencil, and you always do your hair, and all the other fetching Mamas support me.
I don't do Victim Chic, and while many may judge me for that (I don't look "worthy" enough)
I say FECK EM!
My motto "Never leave the house in something you could comfortably sleep in" Treat the world as your bathroom and it will shit on you, dress as a Princess and they will worship you.
Please consider me a disciple of Super K.
xx
A beautiful post! We all choose what we wear every day, and the clothes we chose communicate to those around us… Why not choose beautiful and interesting things? By the way, have added a link to you from my blog!
Gosh, I really wish we lived in the same country! When I had Mila, I became extremely aware of the other mums, the ones I call the grey mums, who stopped living and looking after themselves after having a child. The worst thing is that when I go to the park with bebe, all dressed up and with make up on, they look at me like I am the enemy. Like I can’t look after my kid properly because you know, I probably spend my time picking outfits and writing about them. I really wish there were more fetching mammas in this world. Actually, there probably are loads, I just don’t know where to find them. Any ideas?
x
Sing it sister! I am so with you on every word of this post (and what Hammie & Mademoiselle Robot said too) Believe me the "grey mother" syndrome exists everywhere – I don't live in the burbs (I do live in a hipster/scenester beach area) and it's just as bad here too. Also my stepmother said "But it's so banal" about my blog, and I had to go on a long rant/speech about the validity of my creative expression etc. So annoying!
What a stunning blog. And you are stunning too! Look a bit like Dita Von Teese. Do you actually live like that, wear those clothes everyday?? That’s fine by me, I’m just amazed that someone has the time and enthusiasm to do that. Those “time warp wives” were a bit scary though…
Beautifully put SKM! The others who have commented before me are right, you are absolutely stunning and an inspiration, but reading between the lines you are not an inspiration purely for others’ sake. There are no try-hard antics in YOU, gorgeous mama! You seem to be doing what you’re doing for the sheer joy and love of it, and there’s no better way to live your life than live your passion (whatever that may be) and then watch s it bubbles out into the big ol’ universe!
Frou Frou: thank you! I’ll bet you hair looks fantastic too. We must catch up again soon.
The Collector: That’s the price I had to pay for my job at the time. I did sneak in a few more subversive fashion touches, but I did have to be quite subtle about it.
Liv/e in both senses: It is true that time is limited, but we still seem to make time for the things we really want to do. It just depends on what your priorities are I suppose.
Heather: Thank you. Dressing well just for yourself is its own reward. It is somehow even better when it isn’t motivated by competition, jealousy or the need to keep up.
Kristen: Thank you!
Susie Bubble: Thank you! I learnt a long time ago that I don’t have to justify my fashion choices to anyone. And I do like your flipping it comment. I must keep that in mind.
Wendy B: Your correct. And it by showing a curiosity in something that doesn’t interest that we learn so much more. My friend went on to explain his passion for cars to me and I actually really understood his motivation. Quite the worthwhile exchange.
Floraposte: It wasn’t so much that I felt a need to dress down as it was imperative to the job. Imagine being an Ambassador and rocking up to government dos in a corset top! (not that I was an Ambassador, but you get my drift.)
Casey: Thank you. I often see so many stylish fashion bloggers and wonder what turns their fashion life would take if they chose to have children. I would like to think that they were able to retain their passion and sense of creativity.
Hammie: I always so appreciate your comments and perspective as I know you have even more layers of family complexity to deal with than I. I know all about the backhanded compliment, “It must be so nice to have the time to do your hair in the morning.” I think they are more of a veiled criticism though. And you are so right about the “not worthy” bit. Why else would we be met with such incredulation when people discover we have children? It seems to speak to an unspoken expectation of what a mother should look like, although stereotypes don’t come from nowhere.
Daffodils in March: Exactly. People often forget just how much and how strongly we communicate before we ever open our mouths.
Mademoiselle Robot: Ditto. I can’t tell you how many times I have experienced your park scenario. It does make me rather sad. And as for my ideas, I actually have a cracker that I’ll tell you about shortly. shh….
Skye: Oh that stepmother! If that was me I’d like to say I would have retorted with a ” Banal is in the eye of the beholder.” but chances are that I would have done exactly what you did. I am highly prone to large rants.
Helena S: Thank you so much! Yes, I do dress like this everyday. I just adjust the outfit to suit the occasion accordingly. You’ll even be able to find a post of me in my gym clothes somewhere. And no, I don’t head down the time warp road at all really. I just love what I love no mater what style, era or genre it is from. So long as it makes me happy – it’s in!
Nokomi:Thank you. And it is really is for the joy it gives me. I wear my heart on my sleeve and it is impossible for me not to tell / show everyone the way things are in my world. A love shared is a love doubled.
Indeed. Stereotypes–mummy style, professor style–are so limiting and, well, dull.
well said, good for you for being your wonderful, stylish self in a mass of boring juicy track suits. You are fabulous and gorgeous and no one can stop you! I know when I have kids I will keep my passion for dressing up and not conform. I look forward to dressing myself up and the lil ones too. I’m excited about that!!
I sometimes get those ” where are you going later” comments too…and I live in the CBD!
I think for some people its easier to conform and be miserable…to be happy they’d have to make an effort and they aren’t self aware or capable enough to do that.
Hopefully, with people like you out there inspiring others, more people will catch on that it’s not a crime to dress up, and in fact it’s fun to boot!
I’m in awe of how stylish you are, given that you’re a mum and the time constraints that presents.
YES!! Awesome post.
You inspire me girl <3
This is not just a “mommy” thing!! I just graduated from college and let me tell you… anytime my hair was done, I had on a skirt or put any extra attention into my look I was constantly asked “Oh! Were are you going?!” “Oh! Do you have a job interview?!” “Oh! Are you in the play?!”
It was so frustrating! In the age of “college girls” only wearing “Pink” sweatpants, college t-shirts and Ugg boots it is really hard to put effort into yourself. There is really no need to try hard when everyone around you looks like a total shlub.
So all you Mommy’s out there, fell better because at least your age group was not sloppy all their lives unlike the kids my age…
It all makes me want to say “GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.”
Nicole: LOL, I grew up through an age of yet another age of sloppiness. Although there was none of the Ugg boots craze (shudder), I was at school during the height of Grunge, the flannel, the dirty hair and the great unwashed. The more homeless you looked the trendier you were. Needless to say, I could never bring myself to venture down that road. When I was at University, the trend (from necessity or otherwise) was the “poor starving student” look. Everything was frayed, dirty, ill fitting, bad boxy t-shirts and converse sneakers that had the soles almost falling off. I on the other hand, used to arrive for class in a hot pink fur cropped jacket, jodhpurs with “rocket” boots, (think Spice Girls) and various brightly coloured handbags!
And by “Oh! Were are you going?!” I meant “Oh! Where are you going!?”
Just as Nicole said, whilst I’m sure you beautiful and creative mothers cop the worst of it, as a university student I also get some ugly looks when I decide to put in some effort! I really admire the guts it takes to remain true to your style when there is such pressure to conform to the mundane looks favoured by many.
You’re a happy burst of inspiration for us all.
When I first moved to a highschool without a uniform, a true rarity here in Australia, I was so happy to get a chance to express myself without strict and ridiculous uniform rules. I made a pact with myself that I was going to make an effort everyday to wear something nice that made me happy. I decided to put a semi-permanent ban on jeans and t-shirts because it’s too easy to slip into that boring rut for school. I discovered I really liked having a modern/younger ‘office’ style, pairing lots of stockings, skirts and button up blouses etc. with bright and exciting accessories and bows. Unsurprisingly, most people didn’t particularly appreciate this, and questioned why I bothered or made comments hinting at the fact I thought I was ‘better than them’ or vain.
However, I did get some truly lovely comments which more than made up for the rude ones. Plus, I was dressing for myself, not to catch a guy, or inspire jealousy or any of the other ridiculous things people seemed to think were my motives. I’ve carried this way of dressing into university as well and still get similar sorts of comments on occasion, but I definitely think it’s worth it.
xx
I’m glad you’re bringing colour to the world! It’s an undervalued skill, and you do it so well.
Today while shopping I was told I was “a few months early for Melbourne cup!” simply because I was wearing a headpiece. Sigghhhh some people just don’t get it…hehe
Well said! I wish there were more super kawaii mamas like you in this world!!!
I love your fashion mantra!
I have always aspired to be colorful and unique–even when I have children (and mostly likely) live in suburbia. I just don’t want to be someone who just wears the same “easy wear” pieces day after day, and doesn’t inspire myself (or others) with expressing my creativity and point of view through my outfits!
You’re definitely one of my style inspirations, SKM! Keep it up!
Casey: That means a lot coming from a stylish Mrs such as yourself. I’ll be very interested to see that transition should you still be blogging at that point in your life.
Thank you!
Christine Rice:
Harbour Master: Lol, that is funny! And what a sad state of affairs it would be if we could only get dressed up for special occasions!
Lauren: Although I went to a school with a strict uniform code, I experienced the exact same thing when out of uniform. There will always be people that assume you dress the way you do as a for of superiority, however that is only a reflection of their own insecurity, and while sad, should never affect your choices. I say keep it up, raise the bar and make others reach for the sartorial stars!
Thank you
You are an inspiration! I just recently found your blog and am inspired by the beautiful color and art you share with us. I love that you dress in a way that makes you happy. I live in the burbs, too. I am an accountant for my day job, but I dye my hair red and wear dresses and skirts (mostly of my own making). It’s a small shop, so they have gotten used to me.
I meet up with my neighborhood ladies and jeans are the outfit of choice, while I wear a dress or skirt that makes me feel pretty. They should try it sometime, too. 
Oh, and I should add…I have kids, too.
My daughter wears all the twirly dresses I make her with gusto while her friends are sporting knit shorts and shirts. Fabulousness runs in the family. 
Well, after reading through the comments, I don’t think that what I have to say will be all that different.
I had been stuck in a rut with my clothing, not knowing where to take it, and after reading the blog, it has given me so many great ideas! I work in a government office, so the clothing needs to be business-casual, but I find that many vintage outfits let me look professional while adding a bit of flare and style to my daily life. While I won’t say I’ll get out my finest to wash and fold laundry, I do take a bit more time and care with how I look. Besides, there is something so FABULOUS about knowing that you look GOOD!
Take care, SKM, and safe travels!
You need to read the book “The Thoughtful Dresser” by Linda Grant. She talks about the power of clothes to transform. It’s a fabulous book that has lots of examples to use as comebacks for those who think dressing up is silly and a waste of time.
SKM, we need people like you in the world. You’re a true inspiration, for girls/women of every age.
lots of love
XXASAB
Dear SKM,
THANK YOU for not being one of those mothers (or people) who give up their inner passion for things they love. I don’t have children my own yet, but one day, I hope I’ll do – and then I’m willing to be like you.
I admire what you are doing here. The glamour you are bringing to your life shines through everything do. Never give up yourself.
Love,
Samantha.
Amen to that!!! Most of the hussel bustle downtown office workers are in boring black suits so I had to break that mold too.
I like your “wear what you want” attitude!
This is a lovely response! I often have people asking me where I’m off to in such attire, but it’s normally followed by them saying they wish they felt they could dress like that. So good for you, and so many others, who do dare to wear something fabulous every day! [My friends have to remind me that heels and a wiggle dress are not hiking appropriate clothing choices]
I love the fact that you look fantastic when you have two small children! Somehow I thought that motherhood equaled wearing comfy, daggy things, but you dress better than most people I know. Now I know I can still keep dressing up even when I’m a mother. Keep up the great outfits, you inspire me!
What a fantastic post! For me, dressing up is part of a non-verbal conversation I have with the world every day. To take care in my appearance means that I am showing respect to other people; developing a personal sense of style means I am showing respect to myself.
Your post reminds me of an interaction I had with a co-worker when I was working in a corporate environment. We were both volunteering for the same non-profit and she was complaining about how she was worried the other volunteers would dress “funky” and embarrass her at a fundraiser she was throwing for the group. As she said “they just don’t know how to dress right” she cast a meaningful glance down at my dress, a 50s wraparound print from Swirl. I was shocked at her nastiness but, like you, the antagonist in me thought it was worth it. She was the only one in my office who spoke negatively of my dress (other people seemed to get a kick out of it when I wore a vintage dress to work), and I think that encounter told me more about her character flaws than my taste level.
When I first started working in my early 20s, I thought being a professional meant looking the part by wearing the same gray slacks and the same v-neck sweaters every day. I felt as gloomy as I looked. When I developed more confidence in my professionalism, I also felt more freedom to express myself. And that has made a huge difference in my own personal happiness.
Even if they don’t say so, I bet your outfits bring a lot of joy to the people who pass you by on the street. I know if I saw someone who dressed like you walking by, it would make me happy, even if I were too shy to give her a compliment!
I’m 53 (54 in two weeks!) and I read about and look forward to seeing what you are doing daily — I enjoy it very much! Guys don’t have to understand–that’s why we’re the *opposite* sex
Gail
Hi All. Sorry for the delayed response in getting back to all your comments. I am now finally back on deck at home with a more reliable internet connection. I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed all these redux posts.
Gail: Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. And yes you are right, indeed we are so very opposite in many ways, and I am forever grateful that those differences make me think!
Catherine Sr: It seems there are people like that in every environment. I’ll be writing a follow up post this week addressing that issue too. And your comment was right on the money about bringing joy to other people, and that is yet another reason that I dress the way I do. I know what a kick I get of seeing people who are well and creatively dressed, and I like to return the favour.
Piroska: Thank you! It is about making the right choices for yourself everyday, and just simply caring about both what you put out there and how it makes you feel.
40′s Femme: Yet another reason I don’t hike!
Wendy B: I think that is why both you and I have so much fun with our fashion choices.
Eyeliah: Glad to hear you are being that beautiful flower in a sea of black too!
Distant Samantha: Thank you also for taking the time to comment. Like all things worth doing, it is a constant fight to retain yourself in a sea of sameness… and life is so much better for it!
ASAB: *hugs*
Leah: I’ve actually read it several times and had conversations with Linda. It is a most excellent read that I have recommend here before and cannot recommend highly enough! Good call!
Fyre: You are absolutely correct. Looking and feeling good go hand in hand – hence why there are so many programs now being implemented along these lines to help cancer patients in recovery and women in war torn regions. And yes thank you I have had some excellent travels!
Stacy: That is fantastic! And having little ones to pass on the gift of dressing well too is an extra blessing. I have been charged with making some new “gowns” in the next month too, so we’ll see how that goes.
Mrs Grace Lee: *hugs* I know you know what I’m saying.
Late to the party on this post, but wanted to let you know I think you’re doing folks you encounter a service by dressing the way you do! I would imagine that even the folks that look at you askance when they see you dressed up ‘just for everyday life’ get a little bit of a jolt, a flickering of possiblility opening up for themselves that they could take the same attitude and have as much fun with their own style as you do. When we actively try to be our most excellent self, we give others permission to do the same
)
I am from Malaysia and currently in Sydney studying. The thing that I notice when I first arrive here and can be said to be a ‘culture shock’ is how there is a lack of colours in people’s clothing. Very monotone, grey, black, and very few prints. My wardrobe is full of colours and prints and when I go out I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. To tell you the truth, at the beginning I feel kind off uncomfortable (natural instinct to fit in I guess) but now I just don’t care and very proud and happy that I am very colourful and showing it
Aishah: Hi there and welcome! You are quite correct. For such a sunny country or cities lack so much colour when it comes to people’s outfits. I think that is why I’ve always been drawn to a more flamboyant style of dressing and take much inspiration from Japanese street fashion. Yes, it can make you stand out… but how great is it to stand out, be happy and share it!